How can my art practice and lockdown homeschooling co-exist?
Scaling down my art projects along with my expectations…
I am writing this post in the quiet moments of this Saturday morning after our first week back in Lockdown homeschooling.
I wasn’t the finest example of Motherhood this week.
I started with such good intentions to enjoy our time together, to be supportive and nurturing, to make learning FUN!
That lasted for about fifteen minutes.
The problem, I soon realised, was that I had spent the Christmas holidays doing my yearly review and work plan for my art practice and I had failed to consider the practical implications of having my three children at home with me all day for the foreseeable future. I naively thought that after a quick check to make sure they were all on track with their learning for the day, I could enjoy some painting time in the studio. Of course, I expected to have interruptions at times but my rose tinted expectations imagined us all working productively alongside each other with ‘family time’ breaks and lunches where we could share our accomplishments of the day.
This was complete fantasy of course. I really should have known better. We had already been through the switch to homeschooling during the first Lockdown but I imagine my mind was playing tricks on me in the way it does after childbirth, when you can’t remember how bad it really was.
In reality, I quickly became this exhausted, nagging, bad tempered hag.
Being an artist and of a certain age, technology is not my strong point. Combine that with crummy old laptops and computers all trying to live stream at the same time on a slightly dodgy WIFI connection and let’s just say, things started unravelling rather quickly.
I also had not predicted that part of my job when homeschooling would be trying to make sure my two teenagers stayed awake during their lessons. I caught each of them, on separate occasions, having a snooze when they were supposed to be working.
Then there was the feeding - constantly. And cleaning up after the feeding. And not being able to do any simple task, even going to the loo, without hearing the inevitable call, “Muuuuuum!”
Needless to say, my planned studio time just wasn’t happening. I couldn’t do my usual practice of immersing myself into a painting session with my favourite music or podcast, there was too much to disturb the flow of concentration and I was feeling resentful for not having time for my art.
I realised eventually, at the end of the week (after a gin and a zoom chat with friends) that I needed a different approach. My original plan was clearly not going to work. How could I change things to make them better, for everyone? So this weekend I am re-writing my plan. My main art projects for this year will be modified or postponed and my focus will shift, temporarily, to small scale projects and experimentation. Re-setting limitations and expectations opens up a range of new possibilities. I can have more time to focus on sketchbooks (which I always neglect) and experimenting with different techniques and mediums. I can set up my studio paints and tools so that I can easily and quickly work in short bursts, dipping in and out whenever possible. Who knows what this new way of working might reveal. After a week of impatience and disappointment (at myself), I feel full of potential and excited about what might be achieved. Is that my rose tinted perspective creeping in again? Maybe. But we have to keep trying, right?
